New to this.....feeling down

[~Sol]

It's hard to be civil with her when she is still deceiving me and manipulating the truth. She loves to point the finger at me now. Every little bad comment I make she likes to twist it and put a guilt trip on me. I'm sick of it. She's still whining like a little baby at the "breakup" of our M. She is not seeing her part in it at ALL. I have to remind her what she did while admitting to my faults in it.

I'm tired of taking the blame while she just points at me. What a wonderful grown-up individual she turned out to be. I'm trying hard not to let her get to me anymore....my mistake was opening myself up to her as I thought she was warming up to me again. I freakin gave her a nice foot massage on Sunday, and yesterday she tells me she NEVER wants me on any vacation trips with her at all????? WTF? Either she was setting me up to snap at her or I just gave her too many opportunities and she crossed boundaries - but she made me think like she wanted us to become close again. I'm an idiot!

I slept a little bit, but this morning I am still P.O.ed at her. I guess my anger goes past my being emotional. I feel disgusted being M to her now. I'm thinking more logically, and I DON'T want to be around her at all on ANY trips anyway. I don't give a rat's a$$ if she said she wants us to go to a theme park together. That's a recipe for disaster!!!!

It's all going to be business from here on out. I'm not allowing her to hurt me anymore because I am shutting her out.