More direct eye contact. Included in day to day plans. Sharing and receiving of general feelings. More upbeat, positive attitude.
Negatives
Not allowed in the intimate arena of feelings. No expressing of R feelings.
Although I feel positive about what is going on, I don't feel that there is a resolve or commitment. I do however see improvement with time. The question I guess however is how much wait and see do I have in me. I think with the success I am feeling, my resolve is getting stronger. My overall outlook is better, but the fear of the door slamming behind me is always nagging at the back of my mind.
Compared to three years ago, yes, I am in a much better place. However, it like having a contractor that doesn't seem to be worried about finishing the job, you are at his mercy and no matter how good it might look, you still won't be happy with the final result. So, I will sit back and see what happens, be thankful for what I have accomplished and be glad I do have my W in a somewhat normal mode.
This is tough, I grew up in a family where we could talk and rely on each other. I thought I had married someone who I could sit and talk to and be happy with for the rest of my life. All though I did not rush into being married, in fact, I was very careful and thorough. The one thing I guess I did not look for or realize is, that some people can be in mode or attitude changes in their lives. Although they might be totally convinced that they are going down this new path, there is a chance that they might look back down this old path and revert somewhat.
I believe this is where I find my self and W. She has looked back at her life and has decided to consider some of the things that might bring back some of that life and sparkle. However, there is a reason some things are in the past. Perhaps, it needed to be gotten rid of before. Picking it up again doesn't make something better, just a lesson not fully learned.
With that said though, I would say W has learned that if she wants A, B and C, she can't get there through T. Perhaps this will help W find her resolve for marriage and bring her back, fully committed. I can hope for now.
