Hmmm....the fiasco of the laundry room. Sounds like a chapter in a cheesy novel.
Let me be blunt:
1. Don't ask your daughters to speak to their father for you. That's a cop out and puts them in an unfair position of being go-betweens. If you need/want something from him, ask him yourself. Even though they know he's a scum-bucket, you don't want to act out at your husband THOUGH them. You are not a helpless shrinking violet.
2. You don't need to tell him he ruined his family and that he's a scum-sucking a$$hole. This will go in one ear and out the other. Or, it just confirms in his twisted MLC mind that you are the hurt, whining, hysterical, guilt-inducing shrew he was trying to escape from. He will feel the consequences of his actions. Give it time. It'll happen eventually, when the guilt hits him like an express train. Or if it doesn't hit him in this life, he'll have to face his Maker and Judge. But don't let it come from you. Release him into the hands of God, who judges justly.
3. If he cared about his girls, he wouldn't be doing this. Right now, all he cares about are his adolescent FEELINGS. In his state, the only thing he can offer them is financial support. Ensure that happens. Make sure your settlement is fair. That's how he can love them now. You are their emotional and spiritual rock. I may be out of line, but they don't really need a father who is living in a fog of narcissism. Look...here are the facts: the damage to your kids is already done, both daughters have their image of marriage tarnished, and your younger one will seek approval from her boyfriends because her father abandoned her. Don't force her relationship with her father now. Do you want her to admire a man who treats his wife like sh*t? Do you want her to think it's OK to ditch your marriage? Let jer develop her own relationship with him. If she wants to be pissed at him, let her. He doesn't care. If he saw your daughters once a month, he'd be OK with it RIGHT NOW in his mental FOG. IF he stays like this the rest of his life...well good riddance.
