If it makes you feel any better, I REALLY sucked at being a girl. I mean... I've always been a primp, I've always worn make-up... but... I grew up believing that the biggest disservice God did to me was making me female. I never felt 'safe' being female. Bad things happened to females. Bad things certainly happened to me...
Up until recently, I even dated men who had little to no respect for women, and then I married a man who had... like NO respect for women.
It sounds to me like the two of you, at least in your early years, were not in an environment that was conducive to cultivating your wife's sense of female, to say the least. She was in an ultra-male world, and for her to be anything less than what she was... well, that just would have been lethal for her... wouldn't it? And to throw kids into that mix? Really?
Now your wife is beginning to explore her feminine side. The guys here really used to come down on me for being so.... harsh. And I can still revert. But I am now with a man who 'revels' in me being feminine. I am experiencing the 'rewards' of being a girl. I began to really explore that side of me... and wonder of wonders... I found out that I am actually pretty good at it. I mean, I've got all the parts and plumbing... who knew I'd be better at being a girl...
It is a slow process. Throw all that other stuff you two were dealing with into the mix, and no wonder why it has been a slow process for your wife.
So... can I ask you. When you all WERE having sex... what was it like? Is there any sexual abuse in her past? Did she seem to have any... uh... hang ups? Did she enjoy sex? Are you willing to give more examples there?
Also... when you all were doing your martial arts thing... were you the Top Dog... the master? The teacher? How did you treat her then?
