Delia, I know. I have got to move on. I was doing pretty well until this laundry room situation. I've never had to deal with these kind of things. I have no family close by so I don't have anyone to rely on. I know I have to get rid of that mentality. I've been doing pretty well getting stronger and independent, and then I have this meltdown.
I told H that he had ruined his family. I said I hope OW and her children S8 and D21 are worth it, because it seems they are already becoming a family. I told him it hurt the girls very bad that they were not invited to share the 4th with their dad and grandparents, but his other little family was. I told him he was robbing the girls of what should have been a happy year in their lives. It ruined oldest D's first year of college and and youngest D's first year of high school. Matter of fact oldest D is not going back to the university she attended last year but going to a local community college. I'm so sad for her I absolutely loved college. I also told him if he ended up with OW be prepared, that youngest D stated she would not go to his house if she was there. I said you know she loves you, but she can not accept the person who played such a big role in breaking our family. I know I said way more than I should have, but he needs to feel the consequences of his actions.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
IThink they don't think about it because: 1. They are on a "high". They are so caught up in what they are doing in the present they have forgotten the past. 2. They know we will take care of the kids.
Matilda, I have to agree with what H said earlier in my thread. My H is at the point that he thinks there was nothing good about our marriage and he has yet to say he is sorry for anything. He said I've talked to people and they said at first things might be the same and then they would go back to the old way. I'm so glad that he listens to all of those "professionals". This is the man that when I mentioned counseling he said it was just a bunch of bullsh*t. I know when I was talking to him about the girls it just went in one ear and out the other. I'm sure he thinks I don't know what I'm talking about.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Theo, It's sounds like you're having a rough time also lately. I'm so sorry you are such a rock for the rest of us. What we women wouldn't give to have H's like you and the rest of the DBers. Your wives are crazy. Just remeber if God brings us to it, he will bring us through it. I'm glad you were able to vent and get it off of your chest. Lots of people on here care about you.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Sounds like you should be very proud of your girls. They are going through a very rough time, but they still know what is right and wrong, and refuse to stand beside their dad when he is doing you so wrong. It must feel good to know that you raised them that way. It takes a strong person to stand for what they believe in rather than just trying to keep peace the easiest way possible. Hang in there.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
You know the ironic thing is that they are both encouraging me to get out there and meet somone. I told them that that's now what married people do. I met a really nice guy at that wedding I attended recently and spent the day at the lake with him and several other people. I told my girls I thought he would be a great friend to have. They both said are you kidding? Forget friend and go for him, ha!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Just my 2 cents, I NEVER talked bad to my girls about their birthmom. (first marriage). I let her show to them how she really is. It's not hard. The WAS does a good job of making themselve look bad. My girls now 22 & 25 don't want anything to do with their birth mom. THEIR CHOICE.
I'm not saying you are its just makes ya feel good when They made the desicion
husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
He shows them alot. My D was so upset with him about not being home the night she wanted to go see him. He said he was just riding around, she didn't believe him.
I'm not totally guiltless, but his actions speak pretty loudly. You are so right I don't want to damage my relationship with my girls.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I stopped with comments about my kids Mom.....the only thing I have told them that this was all her decision. They see everything and hear everything without me having to tell them....they are 14 and 16 yrs old...girl and boy.
I don't think that there's any way for us to know what they're thinking--or any way for us to know if we've reached them. If we knew for sure, it might NOT be something we could handle right now. What does a brain look like when it's given over completely to pleasure-seeking, and scheming, and telling whoppers, and sneaking out of every responsibility, and living on boats, and giving up everything decent? Wish I could see the different lobes light up. Thinking of doing an experiment...
