Wow, 789, sorry you are having such a rough time right now. Take some time before you give up.
I feel pretty hopeless, and in many ways have let go, but I would *NEVER* initiate a D. I've told her I took my vows VERY seriously, and that I'll take responsibility for the consequences if we try and it fails. But if she files for a D, those consequences (long-term effect on child) are her responsibility. This may be too direct, too threatening, I don't know. But, for many reasons, I would NEVER help a D unless there was abuse involved.
