Living with my WAW 3

[SuperDad]

Journaling:
Worked out this a.m. and W went for a bike ride while I was getting ready for work. Only light, topical conversation. I did some chores in the a.m., mostly getting the pool back into shape (damned mustard algae). Trying to get everything ready for the upcoming vacation/work trip.

After work, I again did a few chores and helped W get some things ready for dinner. Kids are having a friend sleepover and we all went swimming. S6 ended up having a meltdown (not enough sleep last night) so I got out with him and tried to calm him down. I was on my (our) bed trying to cheer him up, with a bit of sucess. Tried to get W to join us, but she instead invited S6 to go watch cartoons with her. After a few minutes, I joined them and he quickly cheered up and then decided to go back out with the others.

This left W and I together in the living room. We had some light conversation, joked a bit, etc. After a few minutes, I excused myself to go practice violin.

When she called me for dinner, we were getting drinks from the fridge and I decided to do another bit of an experiment, I rubbed my foot on her calf and commented that she was looking really toned from all of the working out. She did not have a negative reaction at all and just made a comment about how she was hoping to build more tone, etc. I did not say anything else and sat down for dinner. This was definitely a 180 from the past 4 months of no affection at all shown to W (no hugs, ILY, or anything other than "have a nice day" when leaving for work).

Based on this, I am thinking that doing more 180s mixed in with my Do Nothing strategy could be a good thing. Just being an open, unwaivering, fearless, loving soul in the face of her closed, confused, scared, and, yes, loveless MLC self seems to be enough for now. Part of that is not being afraid to throw in some subtle flirting, staring her in the eyes unblinking while she talks, etc.

I know she feels no love for me right now, but as Dave has pointed out, I have many chances to influence this since we are still together. Yesterday's conversation at least showed her that I have no animosity towards her and plan on living life without her and being happy in that life. Who knows, maybe she will start asking herself whether that might not be a bad life to share???

For now, just Smiling and Waving!

SD