I have asked and all I get is that she is not interested in working on our marrage right now, even if OM wasn't in the picture.
I think if he was out of the picture she would open up a little. She says she doesn't want to hurt anybody and also says that's all she is doing right now. hurting me by not responding and hurting him by not divorcing or kicking me out.
What she is looking for from me right now is space. And what I lost was my ability to talk openly about anything and I wasn't sure about suggesting things about anything cause I didn't want to upset her. (my assertiveness)
