Hey, Cemar - But I'm a Nice Guy!

[Crazy Eddie]

If you don't feel that you have the "right" to want more sex, but you do have the "right" to want a cleaner house or better food, you'll express those wants because you might as well improve something about your situation.

I'm looking at emotional/relational wants and needs as an issue as opposed to material wants/things.

How to walk a line between honestly expressing emotional wants and/or needs in a relationship - both giving AND receiving without being (or feeling like) a self-absorbed narcissist.

I have had difficulties with expressing wants in both the emotional and the material world. I can live without the latest electronics without damage to my psyche, but I'm sure that emotional needs have a far greater, deeper impact.

It's evidently not something that comes natural to some of us.

You got that right. Not long ago, she asked me to stay with her and watch TV instead of going on my computer. I smiled and said "only if I get some attention", by which I meant her arms around me, rubbing my stomach, and maybe a backrub. I got all three and really enjoyed it. Sounds pretty boring, but I never used to ask for anything like that... I just took what affection she offered and always wanted more but never said so. Which is nuts seeing as how she loves doing that stuff, as I'm discovering, and just because she's not in the mood for it at a particular time doesn't mean she's had enough of me and isn't ever going to want to do it again. I still wonder if she'll decide I'm too clingy at some point, but I figure that backing off and staying backed off without any resentment when she's not in the mood should keep that from happening. People don't get annoyed when you ask for things; they get annoyed when you whine for things and don't take no for an answer. Or if they can't give no for an answer, but that's not your fault.