Learning to take care of yourself is good. Check
Learning to hide things from people to protect their feelings is not good. I didn't and don't really hide things.
Learning to hide and deny the fact that you want things is not good. Didn't hide or deny but took responsibility for figuring out how to get it myself
Learning to take the blame for problems stemming from other people's mental disorders is not good. I don't really take the blame but I do tend to try to overhelp people. It's not my fault but I do want to help them feel better.

And I'm not convinced that there's any harm in knowing your family's financial situation while growing up. As long as you don't feel responsible for it without actually having control over it. If bad times are coming, it's best that no one's taken by surprise any more than necessary, right? And when the kids move out, they'll have to know how much things cost and how much they should expect to make from various lines of work.

I think you are right that understanding finances is a positive thing. And maybe it wasn't a problem because I for sure knew it wasn't my fault because it wasn't my mom or dad's either. I guess the hardest thing was the few years leading up to actually losing the farm where my mom would alternate between crying and raging that was hard. I specifically remember my younger brothers (They were probably about 9 and 12 years old and I was 14) coming to me because they wanted to give mom and dad all their money to save the farm. I remember being touched but also upset that they were so aware. I gently explained that mom and dad didn't want their money plus they didn't have anywhere near enough money to save the farm.

My mom blamed herself for losing the farm. My dad was a great farmer so she felt it must have been her fault for not working off the farm.

As long as you have a clear view of just how well you're dealing and what bad habits you still have to unlearn.

Yeah, still trying to figure it out much less work on it!! But I am staying on it.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus