But... 'wanting' is healthy. It is okay to want. That was very hard for me to learn. And there is a huge difference between feeling a 'want,' and feeling entitled. My xH felt entitled. He was a Nice Guy. He played by "The Book of Should Be's." Since he was 'playing by the book,' he was therefore 'entitled' to his wants. If he has a 'need,' I was to meet it. If I did not meet it, I was the evil withholding wife... and it was not even in the equation if I had wants and needs of my own. My xH was so emotionally stunted, that 'empathy' for another never really entered his mind. I learned, the very painful way... that it wasn't really on purpose. He had NEVER learned empathy, from ANYONE in his formative years. This trait was absent from his being. Except if the kids get hurt... and by hurt, I mean, physically hurt. It has to be physically hurt, where there are actual visible signs... a kid throwing up, bleeding, an arm broken...
Ewh. I'm thinking on all kinds of examples from my x marriage right now, and it is making me... very sad. K. That's enough of that.
