The alcoholism resulted in my "adultification" at a very early age. With an underlying way-out-of-proportion sense of responsibility for the people around me and the desire to "protect" them from additional hurt, I self-insulated in order not to "impose" on others. All in all, just another brick on the wall.
Well now THAT sounds familiar! I did have to face having more knowledge about my parents financial situation than I probably should have as they edged up to losing the farm. I tried to protect my brothers and I also tried to help my mother as she was probably facing issues with depression. I have always said that basically I helped my mom out with her emotional issues which also left me feeling like I did not want to burden her with my issues. I usually figured out how to take care of myself without drawing attention and without needing or wanting much from others. Although that does not mean that others haven't helped me a lot because they have.
What might be my problem is that I am kind of proud of myself for dealing so well (well in context) with all of it. Not that it was easy but I feel good about the way things have turned for me despite having some tough times. (I just heard this phrase "If the mountain was smooth, you wouldn't be able to climb it" last weekend and I loved it)
Interesting thoughts for me. Thanks
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
