The alcoholism resulted in my "adultification" at a very early age.
My shrink called this... "when the kids become the parents." The parents are so involved in their own problems, they become emotionally unavailable to their children. As a means of coping, the kids learn not to 'impose' on their parents.
Quite honestly, I think this tends to get out of hand in today's society... as our kids are still 'kids' at age 25. However. Mental IQ and emotional IQ are very different, and emotional IQ most always develops at a slower rate.... especially when the mental IQ is higher. If you have one or both parents who have emotionally checked out... your 'growth' into an emotionally functioning adult is going to check out with them.
The thing that my shrink spent the most time on me with was bringing my 'emotional' development in line with my chronological age. I was severely 'stunted' from my childhood... but unfortunately... people like me and Mrs. NOP and DIY pass through society unnoticed, for their is nothing in place to 'measure' youths that are 'at risk.' I think it is getting better... but... it is very hard to recognize... and even harder to correct.
Because... I was the model child. I did what I was told. I smiled. I was happy. I kept the peace in my family. I had a job. I got up and went to bed when I was supposed to. I made good grades. I played sports. Inside, I was the loneliest person you'd ever want to meet.
Remember the movie, The Sixth Sense? The little boy told Bruce Willis... I drew monsters and killing once. Everyone got upset. They took me into a room, and they questioned me and they scared me. So I started drawing rainbows. People don't take you into dark rooms and question you when you draw rainbows.
