Quote:
I don't know if me moving out for good will finally get us over the hump. I know from the LBS POV it doesn't seem productive but we need to get out of this cycle...


Quite honestly, I think that a separation can be very healthy, as long as it is done right. Look at C_K's thread -- I think he and his W are doing a great job in this regard. For me, it was the physical separation that really allowed me that opportunity to look at what was really at stake (because she WAS gone and I WAS losing her at that point). It really kicked me in the arse. It could do the same for your H.

Hope the concert ticket talk goes well -- I'll be sending your H DB thought waves in hopes that he'll keep his emotions in check and respect your needs.

And thanks for the help (having you here to bounce ideas off of has been a blessing -- are you sure you're not an angel sent down from above to help all of us LBS's? ) I didn't sign the card (knew that would be bad), and didn't say anything about the flower or card to W. Just let the kids give them to her, and then shortly after just asked her if she was feeling better, listened and validated. That's it. I didn't have any expectations, but I'd be lying if I was to say that I wasn't motivated to some extent to do something nice for her in hopes that some seeds of doubt would be planted. I want her to know that she is still cared about, and that I will be there as a friend, if anything. I think the carnation was a flower that kind of leant to that notion.

Thanks again!

GD

Me:29 XW:27
T: 10 M: 7 (2 kids)
Sep: 11/06/06 D'd: 12/07/07
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