Do I buy a house? What about sex?

[MaxP]

My vote goes for option 1. I am about to see what happens when my W leaves at the end of the week (ugh). She announced she had found a flat and taken a six months lease. Who knows what will happen, I have my hopes but I feel she does really need to clear her head, if nothing else. At the moment she feels there is nothing there for her and wants something different. Perhaps your H is the same?

He is the one doing all the dithering and questioning the R, therefore he will probably benefit most (mentally) from a change of situation (unless you really have had enough and want to move). As for changing his mind, well, I've rapdily come round to the conclusion that it is impossible to predict what will happen, therefore everything is still possible. After all, there was a time he still loved you so why can that not return assuming nothing dreadful has happened. Also, you may find that life without him is an improvement. As I said, who knows?

In addition, renting an apartment feels like it would be a cheaper experiment to undertake in the short term. Sure, at the end of the period you may end up moving anyway, but at least you will have given it a go. Also if you do buy a house and things eventually improve, what do you do? Sell up again and be wary of another yo-yo situation?

Finally onto sex. Well, my W and I have had no real intimacy since the bomb three months ago, other than hugs and the occasional kiss. I miss intimacy deeply, really deeply (and I am not talking about sex here). She is just so incredibly beautiful. However, I feel I must wait for far greater signs of comfort and take the lead from her in this regard. I would be wary of sex at the moment but feel I would be very weak willed all the same*. I miss her so much, but as you have found, the sex may be great but the immediate aftermath can be odd. If you can detach you could always treat it as a way to release tension and just enjoy it. However, being a woman you have far greater power with it than you probably think. But having sex you give up some of that power.

Hope that helps.

Max

* I find it very hard to emotionally detach sex from love, so am easily hurt.