IV neppah sgniht eseht od yhW

[sadhearted]

I know. Whenever me and H are in the same place it's like he can't get away from me fast enough. I think part of their actions when with us in person is guilt. What they're doing to the kids, and us, and wondering if this is right. Cause when we aren't face to face yeah we still have our moments but he can also joke around and be nice. I'm sure your son is in pain. It's the kids that suffer the most. My problem is yeah they're sad daddy isn't around but if in the end he comes back then the pain is short term. Whereas if I force him to choose or on my own decide I'm done then the kids have a lifetime of pain ahead. And no I don't know that won't happen anyway. As much as we're hurt in this sitch our kids hurt worse. And it KILLS me to know my kids are feeling this. It hurts worse to know that their dad may not be able to get over this and come back and THAT will hurt them more then a few months of mommy and daddy being apart. They're going to ask tough questions and us being the LBS don't really know the answers. We just have to do the best we can and make sure not to make our spouses out to be bad people to them. I've seen first hand what that does to kids (my SS) and it's awful.

You know I really have no idea if I'm making sense. I know what I'm trying to say but whether it's coming out right who knows. My brain is scattered my heart is hurting and I'm frustrated with my H.

I just think we need to chill out and try to let what our S's say roll off. Maybe they'll be saying something different tomorrow or in an hour. Which I know is hard because I'm trying it as we speak.