Originally Posted By: MrsNOP We learned to "not want". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you and I share similar issues in that it's very difficult to ask people to do things for us, or to "impose" our wants and wishes on other people.
I tend to be like this, although, I think I'm doing a little better, as I learn how self-destructive this can be.
For me it is fear - to ask is to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable may lead to rejection. Rejection leads to pain. Pain leads to withdrawal. Withdrawal leads to emotional isolation. Emotional isolation leads to broken relationships.
And
For me it is control - to receive is to concentrate on yourself. If you're concentrating on yourself, you are being selfish. If you're being selfish, the other person may not be having a good time. If they aren't having a good time, it's your fault. It's your fault because you got them to do it. Fault leads to pain. Pain leads to emotional isolation. Emotional isolation leads to broken relationships.
snort.
Keep in mind, I haven't even put this in the context of sex - this applies to asking someone to go to a particular restaurant or movie.
Oh, the joys of growing up in an alcoholic family. Constantly taking guage of the surrounding relational temperature in order to determine the best tactic to keep things stable.
Quote:
Quote: When men act this way, it can derail their masculinity and can produce a "princess syndrome" in the wife.
Mr. & Mrs. Choc.?
I think it's applicable to several relationships here.
