I remember when I called my MIL for the first time after H had left...she called me such aweful names, saying I was the most wicked woman she had ever known...and the most heartless...I cried for several hours because we had a deep but short history together... Now after H and I got back together she stayed distant...cold...avoided talking to me...until I finally called her and asked if there was something I had done to offend her...that her son and I were intending on staying married and that I loved him and his family and would like to have good relationships with everyone...she was so sweet I about died...she appologized and ever since has been as sweet as can be to me...she even calls now just to talk to me! I figure some people just don't know how to handle the whole thing when it involves there blood and ones who they love but are not their blood...personally I could be friends and have been with X-IL's...
If your H buys another home while you're still married, aren't you entitled to some of that property? Wouldn't that be funny, your taking away something that belongs to the OW. Okay, that's my mean side coming out. Sorry.
Keep going out, and having fun. No point in withdrawing from society. "The best revenge is a life well lived" is such a good saying for those of us that are possibly going down the D road. Not that we want revenge, but we do want to move on, and have no more pain.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
If your H buys another home while you're still married, aren't you entitled to some of that property?
The mortgage/deed etc. is in OW's name. My H just gave her money for the down payment. Therefore, he is not tied to the house in anyway, so he didn't actually buy it. However, from my understanding if he tries to fight with me on the D agreement, this would be considered hiding assets, and he would have a lot of explaining to do. I look like an angel compared to him, so I just have to make sure that I keep things on the up and up and hopefully, I come out ahead.
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Keep going out, and having fun. No point in withdrawing from society. "The best revenge is a life well lived" is such a good saying for those of us that are possibly going down the D road. Not that we want revenge, but we do want to move on, and have no more pain.
I'm trying...I went out again yesterday. This was my first big outing on the local scene. I think that most people know, so I don't have a lot of explaining to do, but I am sure there are a lot of whispers behind my back, but I can assume that they are just saying..."Thats xxxx's wife. Did you hear that he left her? What the h$ll is wrong with him?" When someone who knows about this asks me how I am, I just say surviving.
It felt good to get out there, but the world out there is a scary place. I never thought that I would have to enter the dating scene again. It's good and bad. The good news is that I look younger than I am and from what I heard yesterday, I'm still hot and they think my H is crazy, so I don't think I'll have any trouble finding a guy. The bad news is that I am still probably going to have trouble finding the right one, but I am definately not worrying about that right now. It's all about having fun. After your H leaves you for someone else, it does feel good to get hit on. My niece's bf actually told me that won't have any trouble. He said you are hot and successful, you could have any guy in this place. That's definately good for my broken ego to hear.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hopeless, I'm glad you had a great time. You are right it is so nice to get self esteem boosters when our egos are in such a fragile state right now. Sounds like you will have no trouble. Go for it girl. Live life!
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks Yoyo. This is definately not the place I expected to be in my life at 27. A lot of other people my age are married and having babies, and I am facing a failed marriage and only God knows if I will ever be able to have children. They always say if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I'm definately going to try. Hang in there, we are going to make it through this. I know your H actually served you, so you are at a little different point than me. I don't believe my H has done anything with the D since January, so it looks like I am going to have to take it into my own hands. My H's brother asked me yesterday, "so did you serve him". I said no. He said I don't know what the h$ll is wrong with him. He said I tried to help him. I told him that I did too. He said I know you have given him more than a couple chances. I said yeah, he is just not man enough to take them. He agreed.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Just make sure you're not still here at 28 (or 44!).
I wish I could say that for sure. I am going to be 28 in 3 months, and at this rate, I will still be getting D at that point. I wish there were guarantees that I will never go through this again in my life, but as we all know there aren't. Live and learn is all any of us can do.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Just make sure you're not still here at 28 (or 44!).
I wish I could say that for sure. I am going to be 28 in 3 months, and at this rate, I will still be getting D at that point. I wish there were guarantees that I will never go through this again in my life, but as we all know there aren't. Live and learn is all any of us can do.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
OK, don't take me so literally. I meant in a year from now. You remind me of my son, who recently said that when he was younger, he thought he got a whole year older when he ate his birthday cake.
If only it was that easy to avoid!
Besides, you have already moved on from where you were 6 months ago, and even if your D is not final in 3 months, you will have moved out of this limbo you were in.
I wish there were guarantees that I will never go through this again in my life, but as we all know there aren't. Live and learn is all any of us can do.
Live, learn, and grow through this experience. Just reading your posts I can tell that you are even through the pain. I personally have to thank everyone on this board for helping me reflect and grow through my sitch(ongoing process). It really helps to get others perspectives. Use this time to reflect on who you are, what you want for your life, and how do you want to be treated by a mate in the future(could be your H or someone else). Once you are ready to you want to make sure you understand and dealt with your insecurities from your M so it does not effect the next R. Obviously we all are going to be walking around with extra baggage from all of these sitch's, but we have been given the chance of becoming better more rounded people then we where in the past.
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OK, don't take me so literally. I meant in a year from now.
