I don't know if seeking validation from the husband is the overriding urge from the female martyr. I think female martyrs are driven by the urge to satisfy a perceived societal demand.
No, probably not the overriding urge. I do think female martyrs are seeking validation from their Hs, but they just don't "get" that the Hs are much more impressed by a good SL than they are with a squeaky-clean house (generalizing here, I know). I used to think that cac would think badly about me if the house wasn't kept up, and even now, I still have those thoughts, and then I remind myself that the house is much lower on his list than maintaining a good SL. It's hard programming to shake.
I think cac and I both have Mr./Mrs. Nice Guy tendencies. We've both given up power to the other because we perceived that we had to, for a whole bunch of reasons, most of which didn't really exist. Then we resented the other because of it.
Quote:
Everytime I think of martyrs I always hear a cartoon that used to play on Bugs Bunny. The mommy cat would walk off saying, "I work and I slave and what thanks do I get? Boo hoo hoo."
