She knows you and knows what buttons to push. Only suggestion I can make, stop reacting to what your wife says.
I am familiar with it, because I use to react to my H all the time. He would say things that would either make me upset, or really hurt me, and I would blow up.
Don't worry if your W goes to councelling, worry about you going. You can't force her, so don't try to stress about it.
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I let SS explain all this to her as she has pushed me over the edge. I am PISSED that she is doing this to us (moved out)!!!!!! And she knows dam well what she is doing! What a GREAT solution she has! In her mind, she thinks that MOVING OUT is a GREAT IDEA and COUNSELING DOESN'T WORK! Freakin GREAT!
Alot of things our spouses do seem insane to us, but it isn't to them. Work on yourself, let her do what she needs to.
It took me 18 months to get to the point where I do not react to my H's comments any more, and I have detached from all of the negative things from our marriage. I think it has made me a more understanding person and put me in a better place.
Will our marriage be saved, more than likely no, I think it is pretty much done, but this process is not really about working on our marriage, it is about working on ourselves.
You will not have all of the answers tomorrow. Be patient and work on yourself.
