I can understand being worried about the bank account thing but if its something she had mentioned before this may be just part of her working on GAL herself. I wouldn't worry too much! I work in financial services (lots of estate planning) and tell all my clients to maintain credit and bank accounts in their own names as well as spouses because if something happens, death/divorce/disablity its very hard for the spouse without individual accounts to move on finanically in a crisis.
Besides having a small account with "pin" money in it may give her some feeling of independence. I personally have always maintained a separate acct in my own name. It means nothing in regards to the M. Its just my "allowance" so to speak and I do not have to answer to H about spending x amount of money on something he finds frivolous. My allowance, my choice to spend it foolishly on shoes, clothes, etc. This has actually helped our M because the personal purchases are no longer up for debate.
Yes, the rollercoaster. Sounds like she is feeling a lot of different things. Great news that she said the words, ILY. It means at least she is thinking about you! I don't think I have said this at all to my H since we have been going through this. I don't want to give him false hopes and I need to really mean it when I say it. Try not to put any pressure on though. I know this is like baiting you to make a move but be patient and let her be the one to take any "next steps".
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
