When I was in Law School, One of my professors warned us about blindly pursuing a victory to the detriment of our client. The example he gave was something called A Monkey Trip. It involved putting a piece of candy through a small hole in a heavy coconut. The monkey would slip his hand and grab the candy, and then find he couldn't pull his clenched fist back out through the opening. The monkey wanted the candy so badly that he couldn't let go and slip his hand free. With the heavy coconut on his arm he couldn't run or climb, making him easy to catch. Because he couldn't let go of the thing he so desired, he suffered a worse fate. I am ready to let go.
I think this is the situation a lot of us are in. We can let go without giving up and maybe out sitches will change. Sometimes we have to let the candy go. The candy being our burdens and worries. I thought of a lot of us on here when i read this and it made so much sense. So many of us are in the coconut hole called a marriage. We desire to save it so much that that we are suffering a worse fate. Some of it depression, some of it abuse, whatever...We are willing to deal with a lot to save our marriages. Sometimes we have to let go and better ourselves.
Yes, I agree. I wonder for what I am holding on to so tightly? I cannot see clearly and I am not trusting of my therapist or mother. I try to go wih my head and heart but I am not so sure why I am holding on so tightly. I want to let go, but my close proximity to my H makes it so hard to detach. Maybe that is an excuse for contact. We play together, swim together, eat together, sometimes go to the movies together but all under the guise of being a united family to the kids. Our moments of intimacy and eye contact are gone. I hoped happy family times would remind him of some spark but it is just a shell of the real thing. I need to go dark but I do not know how.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
