I had a blast this weekend with my girls and friend. Camping, water park, friends, great weather; I could not ask for much more then this..... accept maybe my W committing back to our M.
I had some great conversations with my friend around the camp fire both nights. I asked him to be as brutally honest with me as possible and he was... I really appreciated his thoughts/feelings about me. One of the things that my W has been saying a lot about me is that I always think that I am right.... My friend confirmed to me this was how I came/come across. I always had an answer or oppinion about anything and everything....I must have really sucked to have been around. He could have just been nice, but he did say that he has seen a huge change in me in this area. It actually became a running joke between the two of us the rest of the weekend that I was always right and he was all knowing. I do believe that I was one who did not listen very well or I would do what I call selective listening(hearing the parts that you want to hear.) I would always be one to offer suggestions, mostly when they were not asked for.... I need(ed) to learn to keep my mouth shut....Like my friend said some of the best things said are not said at all.... It sucked to hear but I really appreciated his honesty with me.....
Well tonight I had a conversation with my W and I did ask her to go to the Colorado M intesive counseling with me. She said "No. especially knowing what you are still up to". I asked her what I was upto and she told me that I was still talking to the OMW and BTW your video is in". I guess this lady called my W at work and told her not to be threatened that she is talking with me. OMW mentioned some of the things that I have been doing to prove to my W that she is in deed talking with me..... WTH.... I am getting screwed for being nice to this lady..... This was her last justification for not doing anything to work on us.... She said again that she was miserable for years which caused me to stop living life and that is when she saw the biggest change in me. She is at peace and can see how great I am doing not dealing with her crap.... This whole conversation actually started on Friday before I left to go camping.... My W heard my side of a conversation with our pastor. I was talking to him to find some familes in our church that would be willing to help me take care of my girls. This way I can comeup with my proposed parenting plan. She then told me she could not believe that I would go to the church, I thought we were keeping this between the two of us... She kept asking me questions and I eventually told her enough.....I stay out of your business, stay out if mine.. Why in the world are you doing this to me before I go away with the girls for the weekend......I then end the conversation and packed up my SUV. She did applogize to me before we left. She then called me while I was on the road, I ended the conversation asking her not to say anything and I would hang up after I said what I had to say...I then said ILU and hung up the phone...
I honestly thought I might have had a chance at her going to Colorado with me, but not now with the OMW calling my W and telling her that I am talking with her and telling my W that I am asking for the PI video... WTH...I was just trying to be nice to this lady...I should have listened to you all and not answered her phone calls.
My marriage is truely hopeless......
Take care....Staying as strong as I possibly can, Scott
