I am sitting here and wondering where I need to look to find more strength. I have been feeling rather drained lately. I told my Aunt the symptoms and she says it is probably Pre~Menopausal. YIKES! I will be 37 in December , Funny I thought was to "young" for that. I have made a commitment to myself that this week I need to go to WEIGHT WATCHERS or something along those lines. I need a formal plan and support to do this. I have tried on my own and the scale has not budged and it is very important to me , to feel better. I dont want to look like Nicole Ritchie but I do want to look in the mirror and be pleased and feel better in my own skin,, I have cleaned up my diet a ton actually and my skin is really awesome,, I look good and now it is time to get serious just as serious and disciplined as I am about my R and my M. I lack discipline in this aspect and WHY?... I really do LOVE to eat. Yesterday I had 2.5 pieces of a Chocolate cake my SIL made,, it was sooooooooooo good. It was my Nephews Birthday Party. And I am rambling on about this because I need to talk it out and put it in black and white. It needs to be important to me , I need to be important enough to do this just for me. No I am not over the top out of shape but yeah I could lose 20 lbs ... so I need to get disciplined about this. I deserve to do this for me ,, not b/c my H wants a trophy wife ( well he says it in anger and then when he is not mad he says I am beautiful just the way I am ) but just b/c I want to feel good in my skin once in for all. Time to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk. Time for real change..... just for me.
