I am feeling like this will get better but with a commitment of effort and discipline on my part. I have lately as they say put my cards on the table.... and you can tell it ruffles his feathers but he needs to hear it if he wants for us to muve forward and progress. Like last nite when I called him like he asked me too he was somewhat rude, while he was still on the cell I told him Hey you dont have to get mad.
And this am I said you know honey that wasnt necessary last nite. ( He wasnt mean to me like usual but he was acting like what do you want? ) Not acceptable, especially b/c I do not speak to him this way.

He also had thrown his wallet on the floor when he arrived last nite and its contents ( lots of business cards ) fell on the floor and he had some number with a girls name on it.

He asked me if I did that when he got up ,,,kinda grumpy like.

I replied " actually no you must have done that when you got here..." He looked confused.



....yeah honey dear the *w*'s number you have there is not important to me... I thought to myself.....

And you know in all reality it is probably actually not a *W* at all but a homeowner but with his history it could have been a *W*.

Guess what I am FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR above that~ BTDT.

I refuse to get sucked into that BS anymore... he wants to live there, I dont. End of story. If he ever gets too lost in it I will have to know what to do and I WILL not tolerate it anymore.
I also do not have to get upset and ruin my day over his stupidity.

I am so very proud of myself .. I used to play the GAME and get so lost in my imagination and made all other things so important.
NO~
I am important and so is my DIGNITY!

Like one of the very smart Ladies here told me cant remember if it was BND or Jen Jam,,, carry yourself in way that w/o words you will get your point across.... something like that.

You get the idea. I am so terrible at quoting. But it has stayed with me and I plan on keeping this up.

Sheesh in 3 years I will be 40 and I hope and pray he will get it by then,, can I spend the next 20 just happy and content? I am getting a lot of grey hair maybe he will notice and treat me even more like a LADY! LOL!

I really need to once again thank you all, you keep me on my toes and you make me laugh and you make me cry and best of all you keep me sane!

I guess I have had a lot of time to think and now I see that like he has said many times it has always been in my hands but I never took the riegns. The reigns are in my hands now .. just have to get the mind set to keep 'em there. It seems contradictory for me to be so very Lady like and wear the pants too. LMAO~ Long dark brown hair, red toe nails, lots of curves and carrying a WHIP? HHHHHHHHMMM??????
Yeah I am having too much fun joking around ALL ~ by myself. But this is a lot more FUN than being soooooooo upset and worrying about his every move, thought and deed. Much more fun indeed!!!!!!!!!!!! \:\)

I am listening to Lily Allen,, on my IPOD.
My brother just put it on my Ipod last nite... never heard it before.....I like it! ;\)

She is F****ing hilarious.... I used to be sassy like that years ago. I dare say that when I act like that my H pays attention. Need to keep working on it. Maybe get a Tattoo too? just kidding about the Tattoo.

I am feeling good today and hope that I will feel this good for awhile.... cant really mess with a strong self confident happy Woman now can he? Need to keep that in the back of my mind.
Need to keep working on me.... that is the KEY to everything!
God bless...