IV neppah sgniht eseht od yhW

[OneWish]

"I really don't think so, we just want you all to be happy in the long run."

Don't panic. I heard the same thing from my in-laws. Women are different than us. They are emotional creatures and they follow how their feelings are right now, in this moment. Us males are more focused on the future and the D scares us. Your W fell in love you with, now she fell out of love with you. Her feelings change. Just keep being happy and positive and be her friend.

[789]

"I really don't think so, we just want you all to be happy in the long run."

Don't panic. I heard the same thing from my in-laws. Women are different than us. They are emotional creatures and they follow how their feelings are right now, in this moment. Us males are more focused on the future and the D scares us. Your W fell in love you with, now she fell out of love with you. Her feelings change. Just keep being happy and positive and be her friend.

Oh I was so confused reading this, I was scratching my head and all. I thought Sadhearted wrote it and I am thinking, I thought she was a lady, and you typed the "us males" part.

Now that was funny, at least it was sitting here and seeing how confused my face must of looked.

[sadhearted]

LOL....

No I'm above that comment.

Thanks for the laugh though.

[789]

Or write backwards

Forgot about that, and that is this thread, duh.

Very good way to look at it. My H says pretty much the same about his first marriage or his early 20's. Says he doesn't like much of it but he got his first son during that time so that makes it worth it.

Not sure if it is a good way to think about it, but I would not have my to wonderful boys if it hadn't. So that alone makes it worth it.

Oh believe me I know men are confused. I'm dealing with the most confused one.

No, us LBS are more confused than the WAS ones, but it is they who make us this way.

I keep threatening to pull all my hair out but then I'd be bald and would look funny.

Would that count as doing a 180?

[789]

OneWish, your back together if I remember correctly, I will go peek in a few. How did you handle the ups and downs, and comments of non-commitment from your wife. I will take any insight that I can find.

[sadhearted]

You have other things on your mind.

Yeah if nothing else I have my 2 S's which I wouldn't trade for the world. Well unless they're driving me nuts. lol

Exactly we wouldn't be so confused if they weren't so confused. We're all just a bunch of confused people. It's a wonder we get anything done.

Um... yeah I've never actually pulled my hair out. So it'd be different. I'd probably get a laugh out of him.

Well I'm off to bed. Thanks for keeping me company. Catch ya tomorrow maybe.

[789]

Good Night.

[OneWish]

OneWish, your back together if I remember correctly, I will go peek in a few. How did you handle the ups and downs, and comments of non-commitment from your wife. I will take any insight that I can find.

I was back with my W. You can read my previous threads to see what I went through. To succeed, I never too no for an answer. I kept trying and trying. Going Dark is the worst thing to do. You need to keep trying without pressuring. For my W, it all boiled down to her being afraid to try. She said that she didn't want to get my hopes up. She did miss me and it was hard on her to be the way she was. Once we got into counseling, she knew that she was wrong and needed to stay in this marriage. I am hoping to get her into counseling. She said that she will after I sign the docs. I haven't and don't plan on signing anything soon. I am dragging my feet. I have a life and I know that I'll be okay if things don't work out. I would give anything to get back with my W. I am just taking care of myself and keeping my sanity, so I really focus on GAL. My friends never even bring up W, nor do I.

To handle the ups and downs, I would exercise and just be around positive people who kept me going. I read A LOT. It gave me a lot of hope.

[789]

Yea, just re-read you thread, I get confused with so many going on.
Well I have not taking no for an answer, she went from moving on, done, never, divorce to where we are today, her thinking. I have not gone dark, and have no plans to, I am thinking gray. I have been pretty darn dark this last week, but only because this is her first vacation without me and she is with her family, I have talked to my son daily but not her at all. That will change tomorrow when they get back to town. My wife use to say 3-4 months ago she didn't want to give me any "false hope", she has not said that in the last couple. So a couple little turn arounds, I will take what I can get. I have not asked her to go to counseling but once since the beginning of all this and got a flat out NO, but I did again a couple weeks ago for Retrouvaille and that was last week and only because it was coming up in our town. Her response this time was not yet, another little difference that I will take.
I have had the feeling that it is not that she doesn't want to, I believe she is afraid that if she does I may hurt her again by drinking, so with that in mind I keep thinking she has some pre-set time of me not drinking so she can actually believe it herself, could be wrong and I have no clue how long that would be for her. She also made the comment a week or so ago that she does not have any plans for filing for a divorce, not sure what that is suppose to mean, but she keeps giving me just enough to keep me semi-happy, or enough to hang myself with, only time will tell.

Well thanks for your info.

Good Luck

[789]

I have had way to much time on my hands this last week. The good thing about that is that it has given me some much needed time to think, and figure out myself and what I want. Most parts of what has been going on is good she has given me many little signs that she is not done. That I am happy for as I do want it to work. With all that has been going on I do see a lot of errors in my approach and thought process. Thru-out this whole episode, no matter what I think or do, it has been for her, to make her happy, to do anything and everything to make it work. Well even with her little signs, not much has changed. I am going to continue having hopeful thoughts and I do not plan on doing anything to really screw things up. But with this time, I realize I am losing myself a little bit each day. I am changing that, I have been having a life, but not living a life for the last couple months. That changes today, and everyday forward. I am no longer going to be waiting for the phone to ring, for the knock on the door, don't get me wrong, I still want that, but I am not waiting. My life starts today, everything is going to be for me and my sons, the only thing I will not do is look for anyone to be a part of my life, that is still reserved for her and that I can wait for till she figures out her life. But no more feeling worried or sorry for myself, I do not deserve that anymore. Well that is enough rambling for now, I shall return tonight and be one happy camper.

Have a good one everyone.

Good Luck All