Man, how many times I've *thought* about Homer's strong advice to date others and make them jealous. There are many psychological reasons for all parties, but I cannot bring myself to do that yet. I guess when you do it for yourself and have given up, what do you have to lose? But doing it to get their attention or make them jealous is probably not right.
W and I separated 5 years ago, got together 1 month later. The biggest mistake was jumping back into the R and not addressing the issues or making necessary changes in myself. Take is slow. If I get another chance...and if I choose to give W another chance...it will be handled totally different.
I am glad for you. But I also think you have to work on things and never stop working on them. My husband filed 5 years ago, we separated, got back together and never really worked things through, so we are back to the "not in love with you" and "I want a divorce" all over again. Hate to be a downer, but I question what her motives are if she came back as soon as she saw you were talking to someone else. It just does not seem genuine. So PLEASE keep working on things.
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
I am glad for you. But I also think you have to work on things and never stop working on them. My husband filed 5 years ago, we separated, got back together and never really worked things through, so we are back to the "not in love with you" and "I want a divorce" all over again.
Those comments are true. Don't stop working on your M. My W and I did the same thing. We worked on the marriage, we were happy, everything was great! She didn't want to go to our marriage meetings any more and we started to have problems. Now, I am blamed for everything. I was the one begging her to keep going to the marriage meetings!
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
I know what it feels like , as I am sure everyone here does, to have the rug pulled out from beneath you. Hearing it twice is more than double the pain though, and I would hate to see that happen to anyone! So I encourage people to learn from my mistakes! I do not think anyone can afford to get comfortable in a relationship and /or wait for the "right time" to start working towards improving the relationship. That is why I think you should go to counseling, or find some other way to work on your relationship.
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
