Thanks everyone. I guess I really don't feel a failure. But I do feel empty at times b/c this is so difficult to accept, even after 18 months. I still keep expecting that phone call from former W saying "let us try again".
But I get just the opposite from her.
So I must remind myself she is different now - no longer right for me. I must also remember she is also hurt and confused - but that is no excuse when she tries to hurt me. Her anger is her problem - not mine. I have accepted my role in this.
Something I said on FIB's thread: Our spouse has simply fallen out of love with us and feel as guilt-ridden about it as we feel pain about their leaving. Our board here is a place to rationalize our pain for something that we don't understand and find difficult to accept.
There comes a time when you have to move on. I miss my WAW and wish I could have her back, but I am coming to understand that the stbxW is really a different person and I don't want her.
That realization gives me strength, not defeat. Sure, I still feel a failure at times and share that here, but deep down I know I am not.
So, time to build that *new* me and treat all this as the opportunity to grow that I did not have in my M. A life based on strength and honor.
