It hurts like hell, but I can't keep doing this to myself.
We went on vacation and it was wonderful in the sense that there was no stress. We slept in separate bedrooms. We ate every meal as a family. DH and I went out and had a great time.
Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, my phone battery died and I left my charger. I went online to see if I could upgrade (I can't) and thought I'd look to see if DH could. (He can't.) But in the meantime I checked his phone records. He had been calling someone the entire time.
I find this out and for the 3rd time in 10 days, he does not come home (not here... but to his house). Always has excuses. So I call him out about that and the number. He denies knowing then I say it belongs to ___________ (cuz I called it). He said she was just a friend... someone he could talk to. I told him it needed to stop and he agreed. We went to talk some more and it just got ugly cuz I have finally had enough. He said he would end the friendship because it was "poison". He ended up coming over for the 4th and we parted as friends (although now back to tension).
I worked late last night, came home and checked the cell bill. No calls. *whew* Then I decide to check the texts. Ah hah!!
I call him. No answer. I call his work cell. No answer. I go over there. Cuz seriously, I couldn't sleep. Stupid? Yeah, probably.
He admit it's with her and I finally make him say it... he wants a D. Well, then when is he gonna file? "I am". "When?" "I am".
Oh, while we were gone, he told me that when I work late, he would hope I would wrap myself around a tree and would hope the highway patrol would knock on his door each night.
I believe I can get a fairly quick divorce in my state because of the infidelity.
I miss my old DH and he's never coming back. He's long gone to his MLC and pride. Too bad. At one time, he was a really good man.
So... there you have it. I wish it were Monday morning so I could call an attorney. It's gonna break me, but I'm sure I can ask for him to reimburse me my legal fees.
Oh... we also had a physical altercation last night. I initiated it by pushing him. Maybe I was hoping he'd break my arm (cuz physical pain doesn't hurt as much as the mental and emotional...it sounds stupid, I know), but I do have bruises.
The funny thing is, this morning, I'm feeling amicable. WTH? Like we don't have to make this ugly (unless he chooses), but I refuse to roll over and let him walk on me for one more day.
Hmmm, this actually sounds like MLC too. I am sorry that you went through it. Snooping is painful. he was totally in the wrong. There were many late nights my H was also unnaccounted for and I almost wished he was in jail or at the hospital instead of imagining him with OW, which he stills deny and I am not 100% sure even exists. It is probably ture that he was, like 40-60%. Not 100%, maybe EA, I dunno. Your H words were awful, maybe he is a typical MLC man or maybe he is a Scott Peterson? Just think that you are free of him for now, as painful as the separation and betrayal may be. Do not become physical with him. That is not OK, no pushing, slapping, verbal abuse. Start from the beginning. Read the book. You seemed to have decided to get a divorce so act with dignity. No snooping allowed. Take care of yourself and get a separate cell phone. You will be thankful you did.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I'm back just reading and I found your new name. I'm sorry for the turn of events; I know how painful it is for you! I've been avoiding posting for a while - things with H have been ok and I find I obsess too much on the wrong things when I visit the boards too often - but I thought I'd check things out today. Know that I'm sending you my best thoughts and hopes for strength with whatever turn of events come your way.
