forever21's journey still continues.....

[forever21]

Hi Trip. Thanks for checking in on me. I'm still here in Newcomers, though I'm often thinking about where I should move to. My Fourth of July turned out good, after a rough start. Went to Seattle with my brother and his gf. Spent a lot of time at the Experience Music Project. There is so much to see there. Very cool. I'm hangin' in there. It's been a bit of a rough week here and there, but also bright spots. Good that I've had company... that has kept me busy and not given me room to be too down. I think part of the reason I've been struggling a bit more is my Naturopathic Doc had me coming off of the supplements I was taking. She thought I was doing good and probably didn't need them any longer. Well, just in case it's that I've started them back up. Stayed around the house yesterday, I made us a great lunch/early dinner, and I was bocce ball champion to boot. Pretty good since my bro and his gf were both competitive at the game. It was fun. How are you? You sound good, from the posts I've read of yours. Hope you and everyone had a great Fourth!

HS... thanks for noticing that I am working on myself. I try, just some times more successfully than others. I feel like I can recognize many things but effectively learning from those things is another story. I have worked to have healthier relations with my parents since I was an adult, and I credit myself for having as good of a R as I do with them now, but just have to continue to learn. As I write this I realize I have felt like I have to be the "adult" in that R, and that's exactly what I did with my H. I made some choices to try to balance it out with him, but in a way I was just dumbing myself down in that process. I'm sure it didn't make him feel like a man either. I probably just need to be with someone who IS a man... that might make it easier.

I have felt like I miss my H more lately... since last week when I knew he stopped by the house. I'm not detached. I started feeling like I wanted him to come back and work on things with me. It's always tough when you know you've backslided.(Friday) I attempted some damage control (Saturday), but the damage was done. He had come around just a little possibly, and I pushed him away. I should've known better, but it's what happened. I've thought about it and I think I'm just not ready to truly and fully attract him or anybody back in my life right now.

I do like where I'm headed at the moment. Even though it's been kinda rough, I have a good feeling. I feel ready to turn up the volume on my DBing again. I have been doing really good with working toward a career and financial independence for myself. I recognize my progress, and am going to build on that. Today, I actually got a call from that broker I'd talked to. I dropped a thank you letter off for him 2 weeks ago and in that had mentioned that I'd take him up on his offer to talk again. Well, I haven't been ready to discuss things further, so I hadn't called him yet. Made me feel good that he was interested enough in talking to me more about RE that he looked me up. I will call him back on Monday.

Well, I'll save the rest for another post.