Really struggling with the whole thing today. I feel like I have been giving 110% to our M and haave nothing to show for it. CW called this afternoon to come pick S6's baseball uniform. Initially I told her that I would drop it off tonight if I went to run some errands, otherwise she suggested I could do it tomorrow morning. She was relatively chatty etc, but she never asks me about my day or what I am doing. That bothers me.
I called S15 a few minutes later to talk about the bball game that had just ended and while we were talking, she suddenly decided to run over and pick up the uniform.
The whole encounter was weird. I don't know why all of a sudden she needeed to do that.
Later on, I was getting my oil changed, and S15 called me. He mentioned that CW was shopping and going to get the oil changed in her van. I had given her a coupon for the same place I was at, and they were closing in 5 minutes. To be nice, I called her to tell her that they close early on Friday's. She sounded weird at first on the phone until I told her why I was calling. Then she seemed appreciative. I can't help myself, but I asked her where she was.
She told me and God help me, it took all my strength to not go spy on her.....what is wrong with me. I was doing so well for a while not worrying about her wherreabouts and now today I about lose my mind. I made it 1/2 way to the store she said she was going to and then turned around.
Why am I getting like this. She has every opportunity in the world to see the FOM and all of a sudden, today I freak out.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
MC, from what you have posted, you have lots to show for your hard work. It seems like now she is constanting finding some reasons to come over, hang out with you all, etc. That's really positive.
If you feel down, give yourself a break. Go do something for yourself, like that massage. Sounds great.
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
You haven't filed for D She hasn't filed for D. She really enjoying your company. She went from avoiding you to wanting to hang out. You are in the best physical shape you've been in a long time. You are having a heck of a great time. You are really opening up to your sons.
Look...the good point is you didn't snoop. Give yourself a pat on the back.
It's OK to have a crappy day. You emotions cycle through.
I think you are pouring on the niceness (coupons), etc a little thick. Back off a little. You need to apply and release pressure. As you told me, she mentioned that she appreciates HOW HARD YOU ARE TRYING. That might be it...you are trying too hard. She might feel like your efforts are still a ploy to win her back. After this concert thing you go to...ease off a bit. Yeah, have her come over for the birthday, but after that, ease off.
And if truth be told, you are still a little too worried about how she perceives your every little action.
YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!! Relax. Give youself a medal and take a break from hanging around your wife. You don't live together, so take advantage of the space. Man, if I lived near you, I'd bring SuperDad and Husband over and we would rent movies and drink beer -- to heck with our dumbass wives.
Or we could invite some of our DB lady friends over for a real party.
Hey Husband - don't forget HB is the Miller Lite girl originally from Milwaukee, WI - I have been know to have a few too! But those dirty glasses do give you the worst headaches the next day!
MC,
Listen to Theo - I too was guilty of "killing 'em" with kindness - it worked for awhile but OW was still more of the attraction for my H. These WAS's need to get it out of their system - they need to decide when to come back b/c if we push them there we just get blamed for it. Like Theo says we need to LURE them back,,,
HB (aka Miller Lite Girl)
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
