I think I just broke every rule to DBing, but I did it calmingly and rationally. Crap.
Just spent an hour on the phone with W (first broken rule). I spoke plainly about what I have learned these last few months. I let her know that there is a better way, but that we would have to work on it together. She kept trying to jump ahead and point out problems from the past, and I did my best to validate her opinions, but I kept the drum beat on the idea that we can choose our own course, that everything is open.
At one point, I addressed the proposal she had sent over, pointed out that she has said that she was totally flexible and has reversed her position on several major sections, so it wasn't even worth discussing (that's a really major screw up on my game plan, I wanted to draw out the "reviewing process" at least another couple of weeks), and that if she really wants a divorce, she should go ahead and file. Oooops.
I think I kept my head pretty well, otherwise. No crying, no name calling (though I did point out the fact that she is having an affair, no matter how you slice it). Just plain talk about how to make this situation better.
