This is what you need to do. Don't listen to friends or family. This is your marriage and your problem. Did these three people DB? Did they stand for their mariages? You aren't simply 'waiting' for your H to come home. Hopefully you are employing tried and true techniques that have proven to help restore marriages. Friends and family mean well and they love you, but their advice is usually bad and will lead you to divorce. I told my family to support me or butt out. You're in a community property state and there is a formula the state uses to figure who gets what, based upon ability to earn, etc. Him filing first makes no difference. If he wants the D make him do it. You can file for legal separation, but when the D happens, you start from scratch. The process starts again. Do you want to basically do it twice? Also, filing may get his testosterone up and make him do something he might not normally do.
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
