Having some mixed success/failure, now what?

[Nomopo]

I don't really feel bad about that, even though I know it isn't helpful.

However, I do have to set some boundaries for myself. No apologies for that, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

No problem there. I set the same boundary on my W. Told her choose him or me. If you choose him or don't choose in a week, then you need to leave the house and I am getting a L, a divorce and seeking full custody. She seems to have dropped him, but not for me, and the custody threat did a ton of damage we are still working through. Knowing what I know now I'm not sure I how I would handle it or what boundaries I would set, but that's your call, obviously.

The "strictly business" comment was a protective measure, but I could alwys claim I am attempting the "after the last resort" measure if it makes you feel better. Doesn't make me feel any better, but whatever.

Who gives a rat's ass how I feel about it????????? Sheesh.

If MIL keeps getting on your case, you may need to calmly set the record straight about your intentions with regard to your W, the house, your son and the living arrangements in light of the A, and that your W left against your wishes. She sounds like she is messing things up, so keep an eye on her. I think politely telling her that you are doing your best to save the M, and that you appreciate her concern, but that it would be best for her to just leave it to you and your W to handle.

Now, I think I know what Nomopo's read on this will be

Not sure how to take that, but you won't hurt my feelings at all if you want me to stay off the thread. Just let me know.

However, I am not willing live with her until and unless she ends the affair.

There's nothing wrong with this. It's simply your call. I'm not sure I'd dop anything different. I just don't know.

Yes, I am willing to get a divorce if it comes to that.

Ok.

Show me what I'm not seeing if you can. Please.

I'm not sure you're missing anything. It's your gig man.

Nomopo