Okay. I have no read on this at all, but here's the latest:
Called W and, as diplomatically as possible, left a message explaining the situation. Also said that, with MIL in the middle, I have no idea what is W and what is MIL.
W called a little while later, we spoke, and she said that whatever was said was MIL, not her. We were both at work, and did not have much time to get into it, but I offered to speak with her about living arrangements if she wished, as they seemed to be causing some tension.
Now, I think I know what Nomopo's read on this will be, but I'm having trouble seeing any other way to honor myself while still giving her the chance to step up and do the minimum necessary to improve the situation. Unfortunately, the only option I see is: Close up shop, move everyone's stuff out of the house, and put it on the market.
Letting her move back in with my son while I find somewhere else to live crosses my boundary regarding having another man in the house. I have a real problem with that.
I want very much to have the chance to share space with her, and see if we can find a way forward together, but I do feel the need to protect myself. Selfish? Perhaps. However, I am not willing live with her until and unless she ends the affair.
I know how bad this makes me look, and I also know that I'm not doing my marriage any favors by feeling this way. If anyone has any tips, I'd be glad to listen, but I'm really down to the basics here.
Yes, I am willing to get a divorce if it comes to that. No, I don't think I'm willing to just hang out while she has the best of both worlds. Sounds arrogant, I know, but I ask you to remember that my continual forgiveness of her transgressions and utter lack of personal boundaries played a huge role in bringing us to this point.
