I can also add that he was particularly obsessed with my looks & weight and told me on any occasion possible that I needed to lose weight and get back into shape and how unattractive I was to him. Granted I gained 40lbs while pregnant but I lost it all within a year or so. Our sex life is non-existent because he does not find me attractive. We have been intimate 1 time in the last 8 months. Prior to that maybe 5-6 times in the prior years. His constant rejections have decimated my self esteem. Needless to say now that I am leaving he claims that he finds me hot now and isn't sure why he didn't for the last few years. but I have no interest in resuming any type of physical relationship at this time.
Anyway, I can assure you that I am very attractive and fit and I take very good care of myself, my skin and dress fashionably. My looks have never been an issue except for him. My friends think I am anorexic because of the amount of weight I have lost and how I workout/jog/do yoga daily. I used to be a print model 7 ring card girl for boxing, jobs that I was paid for because of my looks and physique. I never should have let his poison ruin my self esteem, but it did.
One of the things I am doing for myself is relaxing my diet a bit (hello cheesecake!) and only working out when I really feel like it. Just not doing those things to please him anymore. I am trying to feel comfortable in my own skin again. Cause all i see now, is a fat unattractive person even though common sense should tell me its him that had the problem not me.
Not sure if any of that helps but I know that his 'verbal assaults" were one thing that helped in the collapse of our relationship. I did not find those comments constructive in anyway.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
