Thinks my family is beneath him, that they are inferior. Since I am part of that family by extension he thinks I am inferior. Treats my parents with disrespect and is not supportive of my relationship with them. Would not allow my D4 to spend time with them. (my fault as I let him get away with this for quite some time)
On the opposite side, thinks his own family is perfect & superior.
Controlling and jealous. Doesn't trust me. Punishes me for spending time with family and friends by being passive aggressive and nasty towards me for days after an outing. I am talking a once a month night out with my friends, totally rediculous.
Calls me immature because I still want to spend time with my friends on occasion. Can't stand that the gals and I go out dancing or have movie nights once a month.
Thinks I am a bad mother because my whole life does not revolve around our daughter. She is a major part of my life, but unlike some women my children and my role as mother does not define me.
I could go on and on. These are the tip of the iceburg. The really big problem is that he was not like this before we got married. He was a social guy, lots of pals. Would go out dancing with me and my friends & their guys. All of sudden we get married and he does a complete 180 (not in a good way). He withdraws from his friends, no more social activities, becomes insansly controlling and jealous, manipulative and downright nasty at times. I try to be a "good wife" and try to be the person he wants me to be...and it nearly drives me to have a breakdown.
My friends joke that I dated his representative. That was just an act he put on to snag me. Then as soon as we got married here comes the real him.
It sounds rediculous but I have never heard of a person undergoing such a change. Needless to say his complete personality shift added to my need to please him ruined our marriage. Basically after going to IC because I was convinced there was something wrong with me I realized the problem was really that I was denying who I was on a very basic level and that was causing a lot of my unhappiness, depression and anxiety. As soon as I recognized this I felt a wave of relief.
DH admits that he completely changed and that he expected me to change as well. I a afraid he never loved me for me but who he thought he could turn me into. Just like I am worried that they guy I feel in love with, never existed in the first place.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
