CVA makes a good point about the doctor, say you are concerned about the weight lose, sleep as well. And hope that when she goes to see the dr she is honest with them. My H blamed me for everything to begin with, he even twisted things when talking to friends and family to try and justify himself. He would tell people that I was constantly going on about his affair and wouldn't drop it, when he first told me that was the case as I wanted to get it straight in my head, however when he was in the worst of the depression I never brought it up, he told his family that we had agreed on separation when we hadn't, plus there had been many other lies, but yes they are trying to make things work in there head, and right now the only way they can is to make it our fault. The illness is what is controlling the mind and so they are just not in there right minds. This is why I hung on, because this person I was dealing with wasn't the man I married, and I knew he was in there somewhere, so I didn't want to write off the marriage while he wasn't himself, I wanted to see what happened when he was more like himself. As for what works best, patience and space, that really all I can say, my H also did everything he could to drive me away, and I wasn't going! He was really mean and horrible(which he has never been) But I just let him be, and when he did see that light again he told me he was trying to get me to make him leave because he thought he deserved it, but he also said that he wouldn't have come through it with out me! You just have to do what you think is right at the time, but the principles here really did help, it kept me calm and focused, as I am usually a pretty hot headed person, and I am not really now. I hope this is helping!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
