Should I file for legal seperation in California?

[mkultra]

No, I am not bailing on DBing and of course I do not want to discuss divorce at all, but I do not feel like getting legal advice yet so I am asking fellow DBers who seem to be the only people to understand. I have three friends/ relatives who all waited for their husbands to come back and didn't. Their husbands all claimed they wanted nothing then changed after lawyers got involved. Apparently, people say that when they want a smoother transistion. I dunno. They tell me to file for a legal seperation just to protect myself in case there is a divorce later and if he files first. I hate even asking this but I own a home that my mother helped me buy. I live in California and my home has almost tripled in value. Because of his bad credit it is all in my name. Also, our tenth anniversary just passed last week! We are both pretty broke except for the house and my retirement and my kids' college money. My H is the least greedy person I know, but I know Divorce changes people. It makes enemies of friends. I keep thinking about Under a Tuscan Sun nightmare and how she lost her family home! Is there a ay I can file without him knowing? Will filing show him this is serious and that he needs to consider the seperation as a legal matter not just as some vacation from reality? Aaaarrrgghhh! I wish I could wake up from this nightmare.