This didn't actually happen to me, during our D sitch, H was having an EA, but I didn't know it until later, but I would completely agree that you are doing the RIGHT THING. Do not allow him to cake eat!! My personal opinion is that, if you "gave in to him" and started having sex w/ him again, he may decide he doesn't have any reason to change his behavior.

Hang in there and keep your self respect intact. He needs to want you in every way, shape and form and be ready to re-commit to you and your M before he starts getting any favors. But, like I said, that's just my opinion. A lot of times, things are easier said than done, but I definitely would not have sex w/ him if he's still having a full blown affair.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10