He's still with her, and I'm moving on...

[Hope_11]

This sounds like a good 180 to me. You can consider filing for D as a LRT, or self-preservation, but it is not "doing everything for him" because it will not be on his terms.

Thanks for the support. I feel like this is what I have to do at this point in my sitch. I feel stronger than I have in months. The only reason that I am considering filing for D is so that it is on my terms (better to do on your turf is what my own priest told me) and to protect myself. I don't believe that he is going to and he might try and run us both in the ground while I sit around and wait. It does feel a little better to have some control. He's done calling all the shots.

This is a logical follow-through to "letting him have it." I'm not sure what percentage of Busted Divorces included filing for D as a LRT, but in your situation I think it fits. Not to mention the financial issues.

I agree. You get a to a point where enough is really enough. I think that me taking action on the D at this point is my only option in order to get my life in order and get my sanity back. Either we will get divorced, or I will get a sane H back.

On a side note, I am going out again tomorrow with my niece. This is a huge step for me. There will be a lot of people there that I know and that know about this mess. No more protecting my H by hiding from the local scene. He's the one that did wrong and is still doing wrong. The only thing that I can do at this point is hold my head high and show everyone that I am still the same sweet girl that everyone has gotten to know over the years. I may have been through h$ll, but I look better than I ever have before. They are still going to be saying, "What the h$ll is wrong with him?" What he did and is doing to me is absolutely horrible, and he is the one that has to live with that each and every day. In the meantime, I am living for me. For the first time in my life, I have no one to answer to and I am going to try and enjoy it.