It is finally out, he wants a D

[HSSweetheart]

On another non-recipe note. My H is sleeping at his sister's house to watch her dog last night and tonite. It hasn't been bad lately, mostly because he hasn't been bringing up the topic lately. Thought about the sleepover he commented that it will be "practice" for him. I wanted to hit him. Why does he always feel the need to comment???

I am very lonely when my family is not around. I am not an active person and even if I find something I like to do, GAL, I always would rather be doing stuff with them. When I had a boyfriend as a teenager I stopped seeing my friends for the most part as that was my focus. It hasn't changed. When I am with someone that is who I want to be with. To my H however, I am one in a long list-and it seems I keep getting pushed further to the end of the list!

I took today off to save on babysitting charges so the kids and I are just hanging out. Guess I should get up and shower, but who feels like it. D7 tells me we need to go food shopping. Didn't tell her I have no $ at the moment. Trying to keep my spirits up and let things slide. Just acting "AS IF" as much as I can for now, it is like a defense mechanism to survive. But I haven't reached the hard part of this yet--and the kids don't know yet. That will be the hardest.