Do the ILs know that you are still committed to the M and working on it if W were to choose to do so?
I don't think they know that anymore. About a month and a half ago, I remember making a statement to FIL saying, "I'm moving on..." This was said because of the recent events that W brought OM to. I felt like it was a good idea because I was LRTing and going dark, so I didn't want W to get conflicting messages from her parents. Also, MIL has basically been adamant about the fact that the M is over. When I was open about continuing to be invested in the M, MIL actually told me that it was "over" and that I "needed to move on." She said this because M had told her that it was over. I'm not sure what her motivation was, but I'm guessing it was trying to keep me from what she saw as wasting my time (W and her have very conflicting view and don't get along all that well). They actually tried to talk W into working on the M -- they supported me completely during the time, and still do, I think -- but she wasn't interested at all.
W probably still knows that I'd be open to reconciliation if she came back, but I don't want it to be reported to her by anyone anymore. I think that if I continued to tell the in-laws that, W would get the message and that this knowledge would allow her to keep her distance as long as she wanted, and to not be interested in me and my life.
Do you have an opinion on this, nomo (and others)?
