Last night (the 4th), I had the kids and we stayed at home and lit our own fireworks (they took turns helping me light them -- they were so stoked!), then we sat on my upper deck outside my bedroom that overlooks the city and watched several fireworks shows in the neighboring communities from a distance. Also, our next door neighbors had some illegal fireworks and were shooting them over our heads while we we out there -- the kids REALLY thought this was AWESOME!!!
All in all, the 4th wasn't bad, though I felt a little empty without W there.
Tonight I had my Lindy Hop dance performance team practice, and took the kids over to the STBX In-Laws like I usually do. FIL was the only one there when I dropped them off, and we had a great talk about his new work sitch and my trip to Hawaii (this is the first I've seen or talked with them since I got back). No mention of W, the M or D.
After dance practice (which was fun, but stressful because I missed the last two practices due to my trip so I was playing catch up), I went back to the In-laws to get the kids and sat for an hour and bs'd. MIL (always asking questions), asked how I was doing, what I'd been up to, if I was still working out, etc. Then she began bringing up W and how she was sick a lot lately (at which I expressed my sincere concern). Then out of the blue she asked me if she was moving in w/ OM (as if I'd know). I said that I didn't know, but that her choice was her choice, and that as long as she's happy then that's what counts (I did slip and say that S5 mentioned they had stayed at OM's house the whole time I was in Hawaii though). I also added that I'd dictated almost all of our choices in the M for so long that I simply don't want to have anything to do with what choices she makes now. I said she's an adult and on her own now, and that I respect the decisions she wants to make for her life. I kind of felt like she was hinting to me that W is moving in w/ OM, but was testing the waters to find out what I knew about it
Then MIL asks me if I'd taken anyone on any dates lately (odd question I thought, but I think she asks because she's a very nosy and curious woman). I said "No, I'm still not ready for that, and to tell you the truth, I've finally gotten to the point where I'm okay with being on my own and being by myself at night. I've been enjoying getting to know me again, and have been working on myself a lot." Then she asked if I had to have a dance partner for my Monday dance night, and I said no -- it's just a social atmosphere where both singles and couples go to dance, and that I dance with lots of different girls throughout the night, and am getting to know quite a few people there. I then added that I'm perfectly content with simply being friends with the girls that I meet there (which I really am -- haven't made any efforts to get together with them, though I've had a few that have been flirty with me).
We then got into the Hawaii trip, and after we exhausted that conversation I told them how much I appreciate them helping me out by watching the kids when I need them to, and that anytime I can reciprocate some favors to just let me know. They seemed to sense my sincerity, and replied in kind. I have a better R with them than my W does, and I kind of feel guilty to continue spending time with them. However, I don't have any family of my own left, and they've kind of filled that role for me over the years (and this is something I know they realize understand).
After the thanks, they kids kissed them goodnight and we went home.
So, things went pretty well, but I'm really not sure if I handled the W talk with MIL very well. I KNOW that next time she sees W, she'll tell her about some of the things we talked about (like the non dating and the "being okay with W's choices" statement), and I'm just concerned that I said too much or may have said things that I should'nt have.
