I just want her to come home!

[Nomopo]

Her comments suggests some real confusion, some real internal conflict. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she doesn't file. I'd just play it cool, and not push, and see what she does.

Well it looks like its the ninth inning.

Not necessarily. Some of her comments are alien spew. As hard as it is, let the slide off your back. She is perhaps trying to test you, and get a reaction, or trying to convince herself, but she does seem very conflicted.

I had to bit my lip, but I told her that this is her decision and she will have to take care of it. She didn’t like that and asked why I wouldn’t help pay for it. I KNOW THIS WASN’T GOOD! I told her that I couldn’t sleep at night knowing I had done that, but if she felt it necessary then I wouldn’t try to stop it either.

Sounds like you handled this fine and as well as you could.

I know she is lost, W said she wasn’t sure and it was going to be either the best thing she ever did for herself or the worst mistake of her life.

Although not the best DBing, I would have been tempted to say, I understand. It is a big decision. I don't think you should rush to file. Take some time to figure out what you want. In the end, I just want you to be happy, but there is no rush to make any dcisions today.

I know I have to keep hope and keep DB’ing, but she is one of those people that once she decides something she does it. I can hear it and see it in her and I think she is going to do it.

Maybe. We'll see. Play it cool. Some times when there have been some positives, the WAS gets scared, and doubts these things that they thought they had settled in their minds, and they do something to try to shake you and to get themselves back to where they thought the were clear. So, this looks like the classic push away after some positive interactions.

Well at this point I have been doing most of chapter five that talks about if your separated. Avoiding the R talk, just being upbeat, and while I think I have gotten those results in a positive direction, I think I have to try and go semi-dark and GAL.

Definitely GAL. Why do you think Go Dark? What do you mean by that. As part of your LRT, you definitely have to stop the chase, but do you mean doing something more than that? I'd keep it loving. You've been doing good, actually, so I'm not sure tonight out to change much. Remember, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do.

I do have a comedy show tomorrow with some friends, and I know buddies GF is bringing along some girls to meet me. I feel pretty weird about that.

Be careful. You're vulnerable right now. Decide what is important to you and how you want to handle things before you go, and stick to it.

What should I do, go semi-dark (the son)? I’m doing the 180, not making rash decisions. Have practiced the As if. I think it has gone to far.

You think what has gone too far?

W said she noticed the changes and wished I would have been this way all along. She also stated that she thought they were a show, but that 90 days (how long it takes the D to run through the court) would be enough time for her to decide if it was bull.

Good signs.

But right after that, she states, even if it isn't a show it will be nice to have such a good exspouse.

Like I said, she is conflicted. You need to be steady. Have you read about the castle and picnic in my thread? This is it. Just keep having your great little picnic, ok?

Hope it helps, and hang in there,
Nomopo