I am sure you W sees that you are trying really hard. The harder they see us try, the more they sense pressure.
Actually O, I don't think she sees me trying very hard at all. I'm DBing very hard, and because of this I don't think she senses any anxiety on my end when she is around or when I talk to her on the phone. I've called her about 5 times in the last 5 weeks, and only regarding scheduling with the kids. She has called me about twice as many times about the same stuff, so I'm allowing her to make the majority of the contact. I do dwell on her a lot, and that is a mistake I need to work on (my detaching mentally isn't that good, and I know it). However, on the outside, I don't think she sees me pushing at all. I think she does see me as detached, and I'm planning to keep it that way. That being said, I do plan on trying to meet her needs in ways that don't seem like I'm pursuing. I think trying to be her best friend by being there for her when she needs someone is a good idea, and I think I can do this while seeming confident and completely detached.
Going to journal here soon, but thought I'd respond on that for now.
