I'm sorry about your daughters' unhappiness. I suppose that I would have imagined the hurt to be strongest among the younger children... but from talking to a friend of mine (whose parents divorced when she was 18), I realize how traumatic it is for the teenagers, as well--perhaps more so. In my friend's case, her dad hung the moon. But he left his family, and his children's respect, for an ultimately short-lived affair with a girl his daughters' age.
He's a lonely old man now, ailing, and dependent on his successful daughters, who do their duty by him, but still feel bitter.
Now there's a cheerful story.
As to your H taking his daughters to the lake--maybe he just likes their company better. If OW is the type to monopolize him, to the point that he feels she is undermining his relationship with his children, her neediness could create the same kind of distancing that he must once have shown you, in your distress.
Oh, and yes, our time lines are very similar. My H moved out last October, Friday the Thirteenth. D filed in June.
I keep thinking I've detached, have moved on. But, though it's getting a lot better, I'm not there yet. Every time he shows up to pick up the kids (and he sees them about a total of 8 hours a month--lame, lame), I feel a great urge to go out and visit a liquor store.
