I don't know why he should or should not change. His behavior and his actions aren't up to me. They are up to him. And really... regardless of my actions... why SHOULD he change? Why should he have to? Ever? If he wants to act like that... I don't care. I just have no desire to be around when he does.
but wouldn't it be nice to have all the other stuff...and be able to play golf with him, too? its just "golf". there oughtta be a way to work it out. But throwing the whole kit-n-kaboodle out the window eliminates that possibilty. as does "bombing" someone in an ssm. there ought to be another way. but instead: ...you can move to the other side of the globe and drop all marital responsibilities, and not get a divorce. {sigh} there's my peave, again. take something negative, and attempt to polish it up by giving it a new "nicer sounding" name...and then the "thing" won't be so negative. thats how we went from "crippled", to "handicapped", to "disabled"...now on to something that borders on untrue or at the very least, inaccurate: "differently abled". drives me nuts. and its just another form of denial. anyway...its the same thing.
The thing you and others, and even where I get hung up on boundaries... is doing the whole prediction of another's actions thing. All you can do is control YOU true, about who you can control. but unlike the stock market, in most human endeavors, past performance IS in fact, indicative of likely future results. Its why they make us study history. Unfortunately, most don't apply the lessons, and get burned, again and again.
