Hi Gracey, I haven't checked in with you lately. I'm sorry your sitch hasn't gotten any better. You are so right that we have to be the ones that provide the children with stability. But you know what keep being the great mother you are and one day when you kids are older they will be so thankful for you. Your H is definitley missing out. You are so right, kids are such a blessing. I too thought my H would wake up and see what he was missing and try to work on us and be a family again. It's amazing what a "drug" the OW is. It is beyond me how an OP could be more important to them than their own children!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Okay, so here is a question??? My H is having OW around my babies. They are doing "family" things together. This makes me sick to my stomach. I want to call her and tell her to stay away from my children, however, I have already told her how I felt about her being around them. Do I do it again, or ignore it? My 11 year old step-daughter is also being thrown into all of this. It is so sickening!!!
Gracey, I know exactly how you feel. My H had a cookout for his employees and few other people this past Friday. He asked my DD's to come. Not only was the OW/secretary there, she had her adult daughter with her as well. H's parents and sister were there also. I got really upset all I could think of he's trying to make them one big family. My daughter said don't worry about it Mom we didn't talk to her or even look at her. My girs were gone less than an hour and that includes driving over there and back. My H's cousin was there, he said he could tell my girls were very uncomfortable. What does my H expect, that they are going to be fine with the woman that played a key role in the break up of their parents.
I know some people have put in their separation/divorce agreements that there are to be no overnight visits with OP. You might could check into this and have it say not visits with OW at all, I don't know enough about it. My children are older so I don't have to worry about them being around her. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are right it is sickening.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I am going to check with my lawyer and see what I can do. I am so sorry that you have to go through this as well. It still shocks me how many people are in our situations, it is so sad that families are just thrown away because of other's selflishness. My thoughts are always with you.
I didn't tell OW. I have told her once, she knows how I feel about her being around my babies. It doesn't matter what I say....they will do what they "think" is right. I have to keep reminding myself to go about my life and keep doing what I am doing, because in the end, I will be the one on top; even though it is a difficult and and treacherous hike, I will make it and you will too.
It's funny that you mention oysters, I tasted my first raw oysters last Sunday at the lake, not bad. I've had fried oysters before, but never raw. Always been to chicken before, this time I just went for it. Looks like we all need to take lots of chances we never had before.
My 21st anniversary will be the 26th of this month, not exactly how we wanted to spend them.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
that is one of my 180's trying any food at least once. My W loves excargo.(sp) (snals). I can't wait to see her face next time (if there is one) that we are togeather and it is on the menu.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Hi Gracey, I am a lurker from the We're Separated. I hoped I would not be in this section, but something about your story drew me in here. You see, my neighbours and good friends went through a similiar sitch two Christmases ago. They had tried for many years to have kids, finally they were blessed with twin girls, healthy and gorgeous. They were the pride of the neighborhood. One looked like mommy, the other daddy. You can imagine how shocked I was to find out the day after their Christmas party that she had kicked him out because he refused to leave his OW. Her twins were also 18 months then. She had such a difficult pregnancy, completely bedridden for months. He seemed like such a proud father. His OW was an unattractive person inside and out with kids of her own, but she did not have expectations of him. She was very tacky, kind of trashy. Now it is later and the girls rarely see their dad and mom moved out of state. She has moved on without a sign of bitterness. The thing is my H started to hate that man for what he did and now I think I see him doing the same thing. My H has pretty much left his own kids to be with someone else's. Amazing. Sorry so long. I tried to PM you but could not.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
MK, Sorry to hear about your sitch. You will find some very caring people in this forum. That is a very sad story, but unfortunately we are finding out that it is more common than we thought reading these boards.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
