I think you are following the right path in a very difficult situation. You do need to protect yourself financially, not just from your H (or who he has become) but also from OW who seems to be pulling the strings. She is probably the one who suggested he ask for equity out of the house. And she was only too glad to "help him" hide assets by putting money into her house.
Definitely remove yourself from his drama. Go dark. Get your own cell phone. And see that lawyer.
